Woman Tells Truth

As I was checking my log files this morning, I noticed traffic from a site with an interesting domain name...

After clicking through, I realized it was a blog written by a woman on her experiences with men and dating.

Some posts are humorous. Other posts are sad that men can be so daft. But all of it valuable in understanding women and how they think in the dating world.

Naturally, we tend to only look at our side of the story, especially in the beginning stages. But looking at women's stories, really, is the key.

Creating a comfortable environment is number one in the dating world. But this can only be done by giving your attention to HER experience instead of thinking about what you want or what you fear.

You have to know what her side of the story is to create a comfortable environment and truly succeed at dating.

For example...

... to you, approaching a woman for the first time in months is a big deal, right? But for her, getting approached by the 5th guy today is not.

Getting rejected may be a huge deal to you. But to her, she won't even remember it in 10 minutes. It barely even registers.

The Smoker Analogy

I like the analogy of walking 10 blocks downtown smoking a cigarette. I remember being asked anywhere from 3-5 times for a cigarette.

The first time, okay. Sure. The second time, "Sorry, can't help you." The third time, "No." The fourth time, 'No' with a nod. And the fifth time, no acknowledgement -- just keep walking.

Get my point?

Then there's the rare ones, whom I'd actually WANT to give a cigarette to.

What was different about them?

They talked to me like a person, not someone who could give them what they wanted.
They were confident. In other words, they didn't care whether I gave them a cigarette or not, or what I thought of them.
They welcomed me into their life, instead of trying to weasel their way into mine.

Of course, these were usually backpackers or 'vagabond' types rather than the 'down-and-out' street peddlers.

Peddlers and Salesmen

What I'm getting at is that many guys actually date with a 'Peddler Mindset'. They come across to women as begging for number or begging for dates, sex, whatever.

Because they're selfish, they lose. And when they do, they take it personally by blaming the woman, while she feels antagonized by them.

Then there are the select few guys who are more like salesmen. They figure out why a woman would give him what he wants. In other words, FUN.

So instead of being selfish, their focus is on serving the woman, things like adding more excitement or enjoyment to her life.

Then she wants to spend time with them and get to know them as a side-effect.

And since it tends to be much easier to see the 'peddler' habits in others rather than ourselves, these confessions will help you discover all the detailed peddler habits.

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How to Become a "Natural" with Women

I look forward to meeting and talking with you in the forums.

See you there soon.

Your Friend,

Jay Julio