What Women Want
from Husbands
Are you dating to find a wife and eventually get married? Then knowing precisely what women want from husbands is critical! That way you know exactly what you're agreeing to by getting married.
Men and women tend to have very different views on marriage.
And so what women want from husbands is often very different from what men THINK women want from husbands.
Without realizing the following realities and making the following considerations, you may find yourself in a situation you'd prefer not to be in. But accept the realities of what women want from husbands, and make your choices accordingly.
For Love or Business?
Most guys tend to think of marriage as involving love and romance, while women tend to think of marriage as a business arrangement. No wonder women cater to a guy's emotional side.
"Awww... you're so sweet!" is the common respone to a guy's supplication -- like giving gifts, flowers, or compliments.
Even though she'll rag on and complain about it later to her friends, it's the best way for her to make the 'sale', letting her keep her 'back-up' options should her first choices fall through.
Since I became aware of these different views on marriage by either sex, I've also noticed some interesting observations between spouses, when subjects of love and marriage arise.
Every time, the man will talk about getting married for love. He'll get emotional. Where before I used to listen to what he was saying because I was of the same opinion (funny how easy it is to listen to opinions we agree with, and how difficult it can be to listen to the opinions we disagree with), now I look at the woman instead. For when you do, you'll notice that she's very uncomfortable and actually embaressed by his 'emotional puke'.
But why?
Because she married for business purposes, not love. The love was just the snare she used to close the deal. What women want from husbands is found in the benefits she receives from that deal.
A Man’s Love is a Woman’s Business
We include people in our lives because of the benefits they offer us. Sometimes it's business like the benefits that person gives us indirectly, mainly where financial matters are concerned. Other times, it's personal like the relationship and communication itself.
That's why using romance is so dangerous for men.
Romance, especially as Nice Guys view it, is an illusion designed to disguise business with love. This kind of romance to a woman, really, is the promise of finanacial benefits.
Whenever a guy gives a woman flowers, gifts, favors (BEFORE there's a commitment), what she hears is, "Can I buy your sex?"
After all, that IS what he's really saying, even if he's not aware of it.
Romance takes the communication out the relationships and replaces it with money. This can be money itself or the access to effort, meaning a man makes himself available to serve every whim and do her chores for her.
Romance communicates to women that you're willing to be her servant.
What women want from husbands is this service. It means once she has children, she can stop working and let him support her -- or before!
Where men work jobs or start businesses to support themselves, many women marry to support themselves. What women want from husbands is this kind of financial support.
The Marriage Trap?
Nice Guys, even though they may not realize it, see marriage as the only means to get sex. Even though I've never been married, I used to be there myself. In fact, they'd feel guilty having sex before marriage.
But this is just a symptom of the Spine Donor Syndrome, advocated by many religious practices who throw massive perceived consequences into the mix.
To them, their real motivation to marry is to get access to sex, no matter how much they convince themselves otherwise... because marriage let's them remove the shame and guilt.
Women, on the other hand -- especially attractive women -- have EASY access to sex. They don't need to get married for sex. They can get it where and when ever they want.
What women want from husbands is NOT sex. If you marry for sex, you're headed for trouble. Why? Because that's not the reason women marry.
No. What most women want from husbands is an asset. And when a guy marries for sex, he lets himself become that asset.
But SHE controls when he gets some.
So how do you know whether you're really marrying for sex? If you can't get sex without marriage or a steady relationship, you will marry for sex, no matter how much you let yourself get caught up in crazy ideas of 'love'.
Women know this. And what women want from husbands, generally, is a guy who can't get sex without 'permission'. That gives her the leverage in the marriage to get the benefits she wants.
Of course, there are exceptions. But this is a typical 'American Marriage'.
How to Become a "Natural" with Women
Your Friend,
Jay Julio
