Understanding Female Sexuality
I had a conversation with a co-worker a few weeks ago, making it clear understanding female sexuality isn't something most males are fully aware of.
His perspective on womens sexuality was quite similar to my own views years ago.
But were these views even mine just because I believed in them at the time?
Were they even really his...?
... or were these views, like folklore that gets passed down from generation to generation, ideas pushed and expected to be accepted without question?
Does the majority of the population believing that the world is flat make it flat?
No...
But it sure does make someone who believes it to be round to look like an oddball or an ignorant fool in the eyes of the rest of the world.
Of course, it was the opposite. The world was ignorant.
And it seems to be the same when it comes to understanding female sexuality. The majority of guys think it's 'flat', so to speak.
How Most Guys View Female Sexuality
The thing about my co-worker was that he spoke the beliefs and perspective of the majority of guys. Perhaps, at the core, it's a Nice Guy view.
He was talking about a certain celebrity who had made a sex tape with a model. He labeled the actor as the scoundrel villain, taking advantage of this model and using her as a sex object, which was degrading to women.
And what? She got involved because she didn't want to? Because he 'tricked' her into going down on him and then taking it from all angles?
Uh huh.
Or maybe, could it just possibly be that she was involved because she really WANTED to be? Hmmm... there's a novel idea!
Why do we avoid the obvious truth when it runs contrary to what we believe?
For understanding female sexuality -- in the Nice Guy frame of mind -- women are painted as perfect little angels; the epitome of monogamous purity and innocence.
Of course, women really are nothing of the sort. It's only the Nice Guy projecting his own monogamy and innocence onto women.
Start looking for who the REAL woman is by...
Exploring the Truth: Female Sexual Fantasies
One topic I like to discuss with women I meet is their 'lesbian' experiences, so I'll lead the conversation there when the opportunity presents itself.
There are a few reasons I do this...
One. I'm curious.
Two. Most women have them stashed away in their past.
Three. It's 'controversial' and thus communicates an acceptance and understanding female sexuality to women -- along with sexual awareness -- which paves the way for a better connection... and better sex.
In fact, it's amazing how women will openly talk about their female sexual fantasies -- when YOU can communicate you're open and accepting of them.
When they sense you're not going to judge them -- or in other words, project the Nice Guy 'goddess or purity' ideal onto them -- they'll enjoy discussing their secrets with you.
This may surprise some...
I was once having a conversation with a so-called religious or Christian woman and she revealed that she'd feel much more comfortable and prefer satisfying two men at the same time as opposed to getting it on with another woman.
How's that for dinner conversation?
Learning about womens sexual fantasies, I think, is the -- or, a key in understanding female sexuality.
My Secret Garden: Womens Sexual Fantasies
I'm currently reading a book by Nancy Friday called My Secret Garden
And even though the reason it was written and compiled was to bring more awareness, acceptance, and freedom from guilt to women concerning some, I might add, shocking fantasies... it also serves as a way for guys to look into the minds and libidos of women...
... to understand women better, rather than relying on ideals.
Society teaches us that us men are the sex-crazed ones. We're not. Women are. And after you read this book, you'll have no doubt about it.
Aside from seeing and understanding female sexuality for what it is, here's why you should read this book...
- You'll remove your phony ideals about womens sexuality.
- You'll allow a woman to reveal herself for who she is.
- She won't feel guilty or like she has to hide the most important part of herself in your relationship from you!
Along with this, you'll start seeing how women view relationships with men, which is very different than how most guys view these same relationships with women, which means...
- Your communication with women will improve because you'll understand their side of the story, not just yours.
- You'll realize how sexual relationships really work in Nature as opposed to how our society and culture teach.
- Women won't see you as a clueless sucker or regret getting together with you later for you'll "get it".
- And ultimately, you can accept women's polygamous natures fully, without taking their 'drives' personally as a reflection of your own value -- or as a gauge of your virility.
Understanding female sexuality involves knowing womens sexual fantasies.
Read My Secret Garden
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How to Become a "Natural" with Women
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Jay Julio
