What’s the Difference Between
Staring and Eye Contact?
You can't be successful with women if you don't understand the difference between staring and eye contact.
Since most, if not all interactions start with eye contact, making not only distinctions between staring and eye contact, but being able to apply and communicate the difference is important.
When we think of eye contact, what idea comes to mind? Looking into a woman's eyes?
Sure.
But are we looking INTO a woman's eyes, or forcing ourselves to look AT a woman's eyes?
That's a critical question.
Here’s the Difference between
Staring and Eye Contact...
For when we look into a woman's eyes, we're making good eye contact. But when we force ourselves to look at a woman's eyes, we're staring.
So what is the difference between looking INTO a woman's eyes and looking AT a woman's eyes? What is the difference between staring and eye contact?
Really, it has little to do with what we DO. Rather, it has more to do with what we are THINKING when our eyes connect. Depending on what we are thinking determines whether we will make good eye contact or stare.
It comes down to where we place our attention.
The simple answer is that when we stare, our attention is focused on ourselves, making an object of the woman. But when we make eye contact, our attention is given to the woman's experience.
What does this all mean? And how do you learn to make eye contact instead of staring?
You can learn all kinds of silly techniques, like looking at the bridge of a woman's nose or at her forehead, but the problem really isn't with the eyes themselves.
It's with what we're thinking when we connect that counts.
Change Your Thoughts and
Your Eyes Will Follow
By changing your thoughts, your eye contact will take care of itself. When we stare, if you pay attention to what you're thinking, you'll likely find that you're thinking about how the other person is perceiving you.
Staring is a compensation for having shifty eyes. And shifty eyes is a symptom of fearing criticism. So the real issue behind staring and eye contact is to eliminate your fear of criticism!
If you think about the moments where you noticed your eye contact was alert, receptive, and responsive to another person, you'll likely find that you weren't concerned about what they thought about you.
The key to eye contact is to stop caring about what women think about you. For when you stop caring, you'll find your eye contact takes care of itself naturally.
And when you stop caring about what women think about you, you can actually start caring about what a woman is experiencing. And women pick this up intuitively. Good listening is done with the eyes just as much as the ears.
The big distinction between staring and eye contact is that with eye contact, you're listening to what your eyes see. With staring, your eyes stop processing what's in front of them because of fear.
Work at removing that fear.
