10 Rules of Internet Dating to
Get Women to Respond Back!
I recently had the opportunity to see an attractive woman's online dating experience from her perspective, which made it clear there are rules of internet dating.
And just like in the real world, they're all unspoken. So if you don't know them, a woman will never tell you.
That's why I'm about to reveal them to you.
Now, the purpose of internet dating is to take things from online to actually meeting women in person, right? Otherwise, what's the point?
So everything you do online should be directed towards that 'goal'.
With that said, there are certain stages in the process to doing this. So here's the critical internet dating facts you need to know about how to take things from online to offline:
1) You have to get her to respond back
2) You have to make your introductions (first name basis)
3) You have to get her MSN or AIM
4) You have to get her phone number
5) You have to call her to arrange to meet in person
These are the internet dating rules. There can be slight exceptions, of course. But generally, these stages have to be followed in this order.
And though the focus of this article is to get women to respond back to you, to do this, you have to be aware of these stages -- as your understanding of the process has to be communicated from the beginning.
And obviously, none of the other stuff matters if you don't get a response.
So if you message women on dating sites, but get only a few or no replies, let me reveal the reasons why women don't respond to men online and also share the critical tips for internet dating success...
The Basic Rules of Internet Dating
There are many internet dating facts or realities... and one of the most critical ones you need to realize is that attractive women with profile pictures can get literally HUNDREDS of messages a week.
In fact, the following tips for internet dating success were formed directly from the initial messages guys sent to an attractive woman online.
By reading through hundreds of messages, certain trends appear almost immediately. And what you want to do is the OPPOSITE of what most every other guy is doing.
You need to demonstrate you're an individual, different from all the clones.
And you do that, oddly enough, by not doing certain things. It has much more to do with stopping yourself from making mistakes rather than actively doing something.
So here are the 10 tips for internet dating that will begin turning things around for you.
Keep in mind, the order is important. Underneath each of these tips for internet dating is a major mistake that men make. And so I've presented the most popular mistakes first.
And yes, all the examples are real.
Internet Dating Tip #1:
Write A Subject Line that Gets Attention
Do you know what most guys write in the subject line of their messages to women?
"Hi"
"Hey"
"Hello"
Or some variation of that, like, "Hey HerScreenNameHere." And what does a woman think?
"Probably another clone."
Think about this for a moment...
Imagine logging into your account, looking at your inbox, and seeing a long list of messages with very similar subject lines -- all clones of each other.
Would you be excited to weed through them? Notice, I said 'weed through'.
Though this doesn't mean your message won't get read, but after a woman clicks on it and briefly waits for it to show up, she's probably expecting the usual.
It telegraphs being average. And average doesn't get you very far.
Instead, try something different -- ANYTHING other than using those standard greetings. Though using CAPS LOCK implies yelling or stress, it does get attention. So it will breaks her pattern and she's going to be anticipating or expecting something different...
... which is what you want.
Internet Dating Tip #2:
Stop Giving Compliments on her Looks
Guess what kind of message attractive women get the most?
"You're hot!!!"
"Nice body."
"Wow, you're sexy!"
"You're beautiful."
"You're fiiiiiiiiiine."
"Smokin' picture!"
You get the point, I'm sure. And what does a woman think?
"Another fan who will never, ever see me as a person with feelings."
On average, about 25% of her messages will be exactly like this. And not to mention that about another 30% will mix in a compliment with another mistake (so keep that in mind as you read the other ones too).
So that's about 55%! Over HALF -- do you hear that? Over half of the men online eliminate themselves with their compliments!
And if you think about, how is a woman supposed to respond to that? All she can really say is, "Thank-you." But why would she waste her time doing that numerous times each day?
Not only that, but wouldn't it actually get extremely irritating to have to read these so many times every day? You bet it does!
No. Instead, she moves on to the next message.
In fact, when a message doesn't have a compliment, a woman will be much more open to it.
So if there's one thing you should never, EVER do in an online message is compliment a woman -- for if you do, you've just guaranteed yourself that she won't be responding to you.
Internet Dating Tip #3:
Stop Playing it Too Cool or Laid-Back
Next, attractive women tend to get messages that don't have enough 'fuel' worth responding to.
"How are you tonight?"
"Hey, what's up?"
"How's it going?"
The wording can be different, but the message is still the same. And what does a woman think?
"Might be a good guy, but it's just not worth my time to find out."
So there's nothing wrong with this message -- except for the fact that a woman has NO REASON to answer it. Sure, if a woman already knows you, it's a general conversation starter.
Somewhat boring perhaps, but it generally does the trick, right?
But online, with women you've never met -- it doesn't work.
Imagine a total stranger, say John Doe, walks up to you and says, "I will never talk to you again." How would you respond? "Okay. Ummm... thanks for letting me know." Frankly, you couldn't give a damn, right?
But what if he was a life-long friend? Only then, is it a different story.
It's very similar with women online. If a woman doesn't even know you, it's going to have next to no impact... unless she likes your profile picture or something in your profile -- or she's just been through her messages and is bored.
But generally, a woman is just going to pass you by and move right on to reading her next message, hoping it's NOT boring.
Internet Dating Tip #4:
Stop Expecting Too Much... Too Soon
Aside from writing messages with compliments or the 'I'm laid-back approach', another big mistake guys make is 'jumping the gun'...
"Hey there... wanna chat?"
"What are you doing this weekend? Let's head out to the bar."
"Add me to MSN, here's my email: imclueless@dating.com."
"What's your MSN addy?"
"DRINKS ... DINNER ... CLUB ? U IN ?"
Yes, these are all real, first-time messages! And what does a woman think?
"Anyone who expects instant trust from me is obviously clueless."
What if a complete stranger called you on the phone and, without even introducing himself, started asking you for personal information about yourself? Would you just give it to him, without knowing who he was or what he wanted it for?
Not likely!
And that's nothing compared to what a guy is REALLY doing when he bluntly asks a women for her contact info -- and especially for a date in an initial email.
Why would any woman in her right mind give her contact info to a complete stranger who she knows nothing about -- let alone agree to meet him and commit to an entire evening out with him?
Not going to happen. The risk is WAY too high.
No attractive woman will ever give out her email when a guy asks point-blank without introductions or rapport.
Internet Dating Tip #5:
Stop Throwing the Ball in her Court
The mistakes found in the previous three tips are the most popular. And this one, as well as the following one come next in line, and are also quite popular.
Women also get messages like...
"Just bored and looking to chat. Let me know if you're interested."
"Hi, I was wondering if you'd like to get to know each other. Hope to hear from you soon."
"You are sexy... could we chat for a while?"
"If you ever want to chat, send me a message anytime..."
And how do women respond?
"Why would I want to chat with you?"
Again, a woman has no reason to chat, and therefore, why would she want to? Why ask to chat when you can use that opportunity to actually start the 'chatting' process.
We all only want what we consider valuable. But when guys throw the ball into a woman's court like this, they cause women to view them as having little or no value. After all, immediately, she knows that if she wanted to, she could get to know you.
And that stops her from wanting to get to know you.
Internet Dating Tip #6:
Stop Trying to Sell Yourself
It may work in sales to stress the features and benefits to a prospective client, but online dating is not sales. You are not the product and women are not the prospective customers... and you're not applying for a job either.
Yet women get messages like these...
"I am 6'2' 205lbs... with short blonde hair, athletic... workout downtown... cute and professionally employed..."
"Well... i work out a lot... i have two dogs... sorry not a cat fan... and in the end... you should send some love back! :D"
"Hello there, I am a dance teacher, and in descent shape. I like going out to movies, dinner and of course dancing. I have been told that I am a good looking man. My biggest virtue is my patience. I have a good sense of humor, but can get a little warped and raunchy at times. I love being in the outdoors during the summer. I also like sitting at home, enjoying a good movie. I have a vivid and wild imagination, so you should too."
Guys usually then follow-up their 'sales pitch' by throwing the ball in the woman's court. And what do women think?
"What's any of that got to do with me? And I certainly don't remember asking about you."
Picture some guy walk up to you and say something like, "I'm smart, loyal, and fun. I think we should be friends."
What would you do or say? Wouldn't you make any excuse to get away from him as soon as possible?
It's the same with women.
Guys seeking women's approval by bragging and trying to prove how worthy they are of women's attention or time tend to make women feel uncomfortable and irritable.
Internet Dating Tip #7:
Don’t Be Sexually Forward or Obscene
Next, we have a touchy subject. Women sporadically do get overtly sexual messages too...
"I think we should get a nice hotel and get naked!... got msn, my pics are there!"
"You made my nine inch throb."
"I'd love to go down on you..."
"So what would you do for a hundred bucks?"
And how do women generally respond?
"Ewww... Gross!"
This is like the ultimate in expecting too much, too soon. It's telegraphing that all a guy wants to do is get her in the sack, with no regard for who she is as a person.
Think of a woman messaging you and asking about how much you make. Wouldn't it be obvious she's just looking for a sugar daddy?
Though the reason I said it was touchy is because depending on the type of woman -- if she's just looking for sex -- may actually go for it... if the guy's not desperate and he 'gets it'.
Internet Dating Tip #8:
Don’t Look for her Permission
Messages women get from guys that not only get ignored but also deleted as quickly as possible are things like...
"Am I hot enough for you?"
"Into older guys?"
"I know you're likely way out of my league but wanted to say hi."
For what does a woman think?
"No confidence? No thanks! Barf!"
If someone asks you in any way if you think they're good enough for you or acts as if they're not, isn't it obvious THEY think they aren't good enough?
No woman wants a guy who looks to her for a sense of his Identity.
Internet Dating Tip #9:
Don’t Be Creepy or Weird
Guess what kind of messages will make women put guys on their ignore lists fast?
"Can I be your slave."
"I love you."
"I wanna marry you."
Along with constant messaging, even when a woman hasn't replied in the first place. And what does a woman think?
"Creep!"
Though rare, this is probably the very dumbest mistake guys make online.
In some cases, he's just a freak. And in other cases, he's probably become infatuated by a picture and has built up an entire future based on it.
If a woman doesn't reply, let it go. You generally get only one shot.
Internet Dating Tip #10:
Stop Asking Obvious or Boring Questions
Finally, women get guys stating the obvious...
"So you like [something from profile], huh?"
And what does a woman think?
"That is what I wrote, didn't I?"
Though this is more along the right lines, as at least it's being personal, but how's a woman supposed to respond? What would a guy expect her to day? "Yes"?
Imagine you were in a grocery store shopping for groceries and someone said, "You're shopping for groceries, huh?"
Unless they said it in a friendly tone and their body language was open, you'd probably be thinking, "Well, no kidding!"
Most people get irritated when someone throws the spotlight on them by stating the obvious about what they're doing. And with online dating, a woman will likely just ignore it.
Follow these 10 Tips for Internet Dating
and Women will Start Taking Note of You
These are like unspoken rules of internet dating. If you ignore any of them, women will be much less likely to respond to your initial messages.
But by following these internet dating rules, you'll start getting more responses from women. Then you can take the rest of the steps, leading up to meeting in person.
Women have their radars on for red-flags. And by practicing these rules of internet dating, you won't have given her any of them!
