No More Mediocre Dating Life!
Building an active dating life or finding the kind of woman (or women) you want involves making changes to yourself. The change must come BEFORE the circumstance -- before the women even appear in your life.
Until you've changed the way you think, you'll continue to establish the same kind of relationships with women, whether friendships or romances.
If you don't change, you have no choice but to settle for women who pick you. That, also, is a very dangerous position to be in.
The secrets to CHOOSING the women you want aren't found in learning what to do specifically, like techniques or tactics.
No, they are found in learning how to think.
The more I educate myself with unconventional methods (such as tested concepts on dating) and the more life experience I get using those methods as guideposts, the more I realize achieving anything -- and everything of any worth in life follows the exact SAME principles.
That's why some guys seem to "have it all".
Since I've never been one to, in my own mind, resolve to settle for anything other than what I truly want (in the long-term), I've always been curious as to why people settle for mediocrity.
- Why stay at a job, even when we hate it?
- Why go steady with a woman who's not even close to who we want (or stay in a relationship we know is good for neither)?
- Why associate with and keep constant friendships with people we know are discouraging influences on us?
- Why continue with habits not conductive to good health?
And because I've been in a few of these situations myself -- if not all of them -- I believe there are 3 reasons which all seem to tie into each other. They all apply equally to women and dating, as all other pursuits in Life.
Here are the major reasons people escape mediocrity. These are the principles people seeking freedom practice. Are you prepared to apply them?
1) Making Sacrifices
Deciding to go with less -- often times with nothing for a period -- as you focus on developing yourself and the skills necessary to get what you ultimately want.
Living much below a secure existence is no fun. But sacrificing that security while investing as much time and resources -- available most times only by making those sacrifices -- to live above security in the future... to live in the realm of freedom.
If you pursue security, the option of freedom closes its doors to you.
With dating, instead of focusing on a specific woman and investing all efforts in her, focus your efforts on learning how to meet women and establish relationships on your terms while not having a constant woman in your life.
"Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach a man how to fish and you feed him for a lifetime." Thus, let a woman pick you and you have her today. Who knows if she'll be there tomorrow. But learn how to get women of your choice and you will never be short on feminine love, for you can easily replace women who don't stick around.
Really, it's a matter of overcoming your fears of poverty. We have to let go of worry and doubt.
2) Ignoring Criticism
Letting people think and say of you what they will. This applies especially to criticism from those we care about or are close to, and is often in conjunction with the sacrifices we make.
It's going to happen. Those who've known you for great lengths believe they know you, along with the 'limitations' of your potential. It can be difficult on them when they see that they were mistaken about you, forcing them to change their perception of you.
I think it's Human Nature, but they'll, though unconsciously and perhaps unintentionally, attempt to keep you the same through their projections, for it pushes them out of their comfort zone to begin seeing you as different than they're accustomed to.
With dating, instead of listening to popular opinions and advice on conducting your dating life -- practices that do the same thing over and over and get the same poor result, time and time again -- learn from those who get results, experiment and make mistakes, being sure to learn from each one.
This is really a matter of overcoming your fear of criticism. We have to let go of shame and guilt, and all self-righteous attitudes.
3) Being Vulnerable
Leaving your comfort zones, your crutches behind, and heading into territory completely alien to you. In other words, putting your pride and rigid sense of identity behind.
Letting go of everything you've depended upon, sometimes for your entire life, can be difficult. It leaves you vulnerable. Like the way we see ourselves, which may not be accurate. For it's these very dependencies that get in the way of granting you the opportunities to attain what you really want.
With dating, instead of relying on the Nice Guy approach of security, like supplicating and trying to buy women's affection (with flowers, favors, compliments, a therapeutic ear, etc.), let things NOT go well with the women you meet and date, allowing the lessons to reveal themselves.
This concerns overcoming your fear of losing love. We have let go of jealousy and criticizing or finding fault with women (and guys who are dating the women you want).
Only The Bold Escape Mediocrity!
Naturally, you have to take risks to begin practicing these principles. Boldness is not inherent, nor is it something some were given, while others weren't.
Boldness is available to all who choose it. Boldness is a choice.
Why do some excel at 'everything' while others excel at next to nothing?
The excellent made the decision to be bold by taking risks.
Boldness is getting up from your computer -- right now -- and taking a risk that will place you closer to what you want. It's that one thing that's been on your mind, but you've continually been putting off.
What are you waiting for? Being bold in other pursuits carries over into courage with women and dating!
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How to Become a "Natural" with Women
I look forward to meeting and talking with you in the forums.
See you there soon.
Your Friend,
Jay Julio
