Mother Son Relationships Revealed
I recently read a fascinating book dealing, in part, with mother son relationships.
A few weeks ago as I was browsing through a used bookstore, a title caught my eye... for just a moment.
The spine on the book read: Man's Search for Himself
Somewhat disoriented, having just had an Alexander Technique lesson, I didn't bother picking it up.
Strangely enough -- the very next day, while giving The Strangest Secret my first listen, the book was mentioned in Earl Nightingale's opening!
Taking that as a "sign", I went back the next day to buy it.
And though it's well over 50 years old, what he discusses about mother son experiences and mother son relationships hold true just as much today as they did then...
... perhaps more.
“Mother seduces son... well, tries to”
As I was reading the sub-chapter called The Struggle Against Mother, something dawned on me...
Using numerous real-life mother and son stories throughout the book, May also uses the story of Orestes (a Greek myth) to illustrate his points in The Struggle To Be.
In this myth, Orestes' intention is to kill his mother, Clytemnestra, to avenge his father -- who she murdered. But when Orestes approaches her with his sword drawn to make the kill, what does she do?
Let May trace how she handles the situation...
“Facing him, Clytemnestra tries to get his pity by blaming his father, "Hard was my lot, my child"; and then she resorts to threats, crying, "My curse, beware, the mother's curse that bore thee!" And when these strategies do not work, she finally tries to seduce Orestes with false protestations of love.”
Apparently, that was her ticket, for...
“He suddenly goes limp, drops his sword with the words, "I will be passive, I am blunted.”
Women know very well they can use a man's love against him.
Man's love is his weak spot... and his strength. Women don't love the same way men do.
But what interested me most about this illustration was that this IS how many women actually behave toward guys in the Dating World in order to get what they want.
In fact, it perfectly paralleled an article I wrote over a year ago, on the mysteries of women's behavior!
But let's go back to Orestes...
May then takes the dynamic underneath this myth and transplants it into the mother son relationships in society today...
“The amazing thing about this sudden, inert passivity [Orestes' limpness] is that it is so vividly what every psychoanalyst observes in the cases of many young men, an acting out of the loss of potency in their struggle with a dominating mother.”
But with awareness, comes power.
By seeing a circumstance globally, like when you discover the truths about women and how they play the Dating Game, it allows you to make the best decisions for yourself without being deceived by love (or infatuation).
And finally, let's take a look at Orestes' mother son experiences...
“It is only when Orestes notes that the mother quickly takes advantage of his moment of passivity to summon her soldiers, and realizes that her so-called love is not love at all but a strategy for getting him under her power, that he arises, regains his strength, and strikes the blow.”
Part of the process of becoming a man (at least in today's matriarchal society) is to first acknowledge which of the mother son relationships has been yours.
Then, if still bound to the relationship tie, figuratively 'kill your mother', as May seems to suggest.
Man’s Search for Himself
There are two kinds of males in this world.
Those who have broken the 'psychological umbilical cord' with their mothers... and those who haven't.
It is this breaking away from the 'womb' which separate the men from the boys.
For what's a key indicator distinguishing a man from a boy?
A boy still has a tie to his mother... a man does not.
If you want to expand your awareness on the mother son relationships issue, I HIGHLY recommend you read Man's Search for Himself
Rollo May uses many related mother and son stories to clearly get his ideas across, which makes it easy to identify with what he discusses.
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