Machoism: Masculinity’s Imitator
Machoism makes clowns of men, while they foolishly believe they're displaying their virility.
By trying to convince others of their masculinity by boasting and putting on a show, all they succeed at demonstrating is the opposite -- their insecurity.
"Look at me! Look at my greatenss! ... Please notice."
Where feminism attempts to emasculate men by making them feel ashamed to be men, machoism attempts to emasculate men by making them feel inadequate or like they're inferior men.
So in Life, just as you have to protect yourself against feminism's shame, though less prevalent in our matriarchal society, there still are times when you also have to protect yourself against machoism's fear and insecurity.
While Nice Guys are products of feminism, Jerks are products of machoism. And though on the surface, they may appear very different, underneath, there's very little difference...
The Parallel with Feminism
While feminists believe women are better than men, machoists believe men are better than women. And though most think only women can be feminists and only men can be machoists, this is far from the case...
... as Nice Guys believe women are better than men -- otherwise there would be no reason for them to put women on pedestals.
There would be no reason for their supplicating behavior.
And while female feminists try to prove they are better than men, male machoists try to prove they're better than other men. BOTH are in competition with men due to their insecurity about and within their own sexualities.
And that's where you come in...
Since feminists are ashamed of their sexuality, they use shame as their weapon against you. But since maschoists are afraid of being inferior to other men, they use a 'tough' or domineering attitude of intimidation as their weapon to manipulate you into feeling inadequate about yourself.
Is it any wonder Nice Guys and Jerks clash? Shame and fear play a mean game of tennis!
In fact, there was a time, after becoming aware of my own Nice Guy-ness, that I swung into Jerk mode -- which is a fairly common trend.
So how do you deal with these ignorant, arrogant, and insecure jerks? The great thing about having acted out as both a Nice Guy and a Jerk is you understand the psychology, first hand -- so you understand their motives.
The Truth About these Insecure Jerks
The thing about machoism is that it's nothing but a form of approval-seeking, which is contrary to the essence of true masculinity.
Masculinity is adequacy.
But by bragging (especially about how superior they are or how attractive they are to women -- a sure sign of insecurity), making domineering displays, and accusing other men as less worthy to boost the perception of his dominance, what an arrogant jerk is really demonstrating and communicating to others is his own lack of adequacy.
The very opposite of what he THINKS he's doing.
Though he doesn't hear himself, what he's saying is, "If I can't be the most dominant male, I feel insecure and inadequate."
You've met him, right? He'll do anything to prove to you that he's superior or more dominant than you -- from things like talking a big, loud talk to maliciously bullying you both verbally and physically, while he thinks it's amusing.
But he's not dominant...
He's domineering; a mere imitation of masculinity. True masculinity has a dominant effect on others not by forcefully dominating them but by dominating and controlling one's own throughts and responses.
Then others decide to yield of their own free will. And often do because yielding to masculinity welcomes and admits a certain calm and fortitude.
That's true dominance, when it's consensual. So..
How Do You Handle Insecure Jerks?
Nice Guys will generally criticize jerks for their domineering attitude, because they feel powerless and unable to handle or deal with it effectively.
But this kind of criticism is bred by resentment. And responding with resentment not only gives your power away -- and makes you miserable -- it's exactly what feeds the jerk's domineering attitude.
In fact, he thrives on it.
So instead, let him know you can see exactly what kind of hand he's holding -- and that he's bluffing...
Arrogant jerks may not realize it, but through their domineering or bullying behavior, they're secretly saying that they think you're the better man -- or, at least, that they're the lesser man.
Their domineering attitude is a compensation... just a bluff.
And if you go for it by supplicating, they win. Then they get what they're after: a selfish feeling of dominance or power -- even though it's forced and phony.
But if you call their bluff by remaining unaffected emotionally and without condemning them, you'll see their inner powerlessness and insecurity come flooding forth as if they were still little boys inside.
Machoism is like a theatrical performance to cover inadequacy. See it for what is, for when you do, their game will no longer work on you...
... and the tables will turn.
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