A Word on Long
Distanced Relationships
How do you feel about long distanced relationships? Maybe you're even in one or considering it? Depending on the distance, there are some strong considerations worth making.
Long distance relationships have more to do with TIME than distance. A long distanced relationship is when a date becomes an 'event' -- where you can't leave home without being able to come back the same night and not have to make a day of it.
To me, that's anything more than 2 hours apart. Anything farther is a long distanced relationship.
I always think in terms of freedom. And if I'm going to agree to a circumstance in life, I want to be sure it doesn't end up owning me or my time -- in the long-term, anyway.
The Real Issue with
Long Distance Relationships
The problem with long distanced relationships is not the woman or even the distance, it's the choice you make to get into something meaningful that will cause major barriers in the the future.
Why?
Once you get into a relationship with a woman, separated by time or distance, it becomes personal. Whereas, if you refuse to date women long distance, it never even gets a chance to become personal in the first place.
After all, why choose to date women outside your area when you can date women IN your area?
"But she's special," some say. And there's no one special closer to you?
Maybe there are other reasons for getting into long distanced relationships, but I believe the main reason is usually desperation and not having choices beforehand.
Guys tend to settle for long distanced relationships because they've chosen not to pursue anything closer to home. Then a woman comes into their life while away from home and instead of leaving it as a short-term fling, their desperation encourages them to continue the relationship.
Make your own choices, sure. If you've dated many woman and the rare one comes along, who am I to say that you should avoid it?
But if you've only dated few women, I'd suggest letting it go.
There are strong reasons why...
Cons of Long Distanced Relationships
You'll be talking on the phone -- a LOT. The phone is used for making plans to get together, not for socializing. You're a guy, right? Only chicks socialize on the phone.
What happens is you'll be continually 'catching up' on what the two of you have been doing, and never even touching the issues.
Even if a guy keeps the relationship up by phone, for her, it's a small investment. She can keep that guy as an OPTION, while dating other guys in that time and not even tell him about it. Meanwhile, that guy is completely loyal and devoted to her.
Guys in long distanced relationships tend to be Temps.
Why?
Getting into long distanced relationships generally and indirectly communicate that a guy's committed to something long-term. But Cool Guys don't even consider the possibility of a long-term relationship until at least three months in.
Without experience, I don't believe you can honestly gauge a woman as long-term material until you've spent enough time -- in person -- with her over a period where the novelty wears off, for that's when you see the 'real woman'.
But with long-distanced relationships, you prevent yourself from this crucial period. There is no benefit of the doubt.
Investment teachers talk about keeping your investments close to home. The same applies to our dating lives. Keep your options close to home.
Best advice on long distanced relationships, especially if you're new to dating? Avoid them at all costs!
