The Jerks vs Nice Guys Debate
Hasn't there always been a debate on Jerks vs Nice Guys in regards to women? Aside from the arguments about who's right and who's wrong, as Nice Guys think Jerks abuse women while Jerks think Nice Guys manipulate them, the motive of the discussion is...
Who do women prefer? Jerks? Or Nice Guys?
When you look at the realities, women get together with Jerks for sex or short-term flings, while they get into long-term relationships or marriages with Nice Guys.
So why is figuring out who women prefer the motive behind the Jerks vs Nice Guys debate? Because we all want our choice of women, and we want to know how to give ourselves options.
And to give ourselves options, we have to let go of looking for who's wrong and who's right. Instead, we have to look at what qualities attract the responses we want from women for those responses are established by Nature's Laws.
We can't change the Laws of Nature; we can only change ourselves to coincide with them to bring about the results we want.
So let's take a look at the distinctions between the qualities of Jerks vs Nice Guys. That way you can draw your own conclusions...
Initiation vs Permission
The first consideration of Jerks vs Nice Guys is all about choices.
Jerks make their own choices by taking action of their own accord, for they don't wait around for someone to let them know it's okay. Nice Guys wait for others to let them know it's okay for them to act.
When it comes to women, Jerks make their own decisions and let women tag along for the ride. Nice Guys tag along on women's rides by letting her decide what happens.
But what is true romance? What does it mean when women say they want to be 'swept of their feet'? It means that they want to be pulled into an adventure.
And you can only do that be making the decisions, by being a leader.
That's what Jerks do. They want to do the things they want to do, whether a woman is there or not. And since women want to be swept into this kind of unknown adventure, the Jerk is the gateway. This leads to steamy flings because the emotional volume is high.
But Nice Guys think romance is about giving flowers, gifts, and buying dinners. To them, being with the woman is the adventure. This leads to long-term relationships because Nice Guys communicate they'd make good servants for they always seek her council to make decisions.
When it comes to Jerks vs Nice Guys, women get together with Jerks for the emotions he gives her. And she gets together with Nice Guys for the finanacial benefits he gives her.
Sexual vs Nonsexual
The second consideration of Jerks vs Nice Guys is about the relationship dynamic each establish.
Because making our own decisions means we must first know what we want, Jerks focus on a sexual relationship with women as they make it clear what kind of relationship they want. The role they want women to play in their lives is directed toward a sexual tone immediately.
Nice Guys focus on a personal friendship with women. Though what they really want is a sexual relationship, because they're too scared to make it obvious for fear of rejection, they try to use a friendship to gain a woman's trust first, hoping she'll let things become sexual later.
But how you establish yourself in a woman's mind forms the kind of relationship you'll have with her.
So if you want a sexual relationship with a woman, you have to make that clear from the start. Or, perhaps, more accurately, you have to make it clear you don't want to be friends, leaving what you do want up to her imagination.
Nice Guys have an agenda when they become friends with a woman they're interested in. They pretend to care about her by listening to her problems and giving her advice. And even though he may not be aware of it, he's trying to use these methods to get inside her pants.
If you want to be sexual, DON'T be dishonest about it by pretending to care.
When it comes to Jerks vs Nice Guys, women sleep with Jerks because he's honest with her. Nice Guys are dishonest by hiding their sexual intentions and women keep them around as friends only, like having a free therapist.
Spine vs Spineless
The third consideration of Jerks vs Nice Guys is about personal boundaries.
Jerks let women know when they're receiving unacceptable behavior from women. But Nice Guys not only let it slide, they encourage it by either behaving in a supplicating way or saying things are okay when a woman asks.
I've even heard honest women say that they want a man who stands up to them and doesn't put up with any of their BS.
Women will always test to see what they can get away with. They want to know where the lines are, so you've got to let them know when they cross a boundary.
Jerks do this. Nice Guys don't, which sets them up to be used.
It's impossible to be honest with someone and have open communication if we don't communicate our boundaries to them. Then it becomes about sacrificing respect in anticipation of getting what we want.
Again, Nice Guys don't communicate their boundaries because of their agendas. They think that if, like letting her make his decisions or listening to her problems that they don't really care about, they let a woman cross their boundaries in hopes of getting some.
When it comes to Jerks vs Nice Guys, Jerks actually have personal relationships with women in the sense that it's person to person, whereas Nice Guys, even though they're trying to be personal -- because of their agenda -- it's impersonal and ends up being all about the woman. Though, really, it's about him.
3 Keys: Ending the Jerks vs Nice Guys Debate
It's not about the personalities or what appears to be going on outside that counts. It's what's happening inside -- in the communication. And the motives underneath that communication.
Getting women is like opening a locked door with three separate locks.
The keys are: initiate, be sexual, and communicate your boundaries.
Jerks simply apply these 3 Keys to succeeding with women. Despite the fact that they may be reckless in handling or maintaining the keys, they still get them inside the lock and open the door.
Nice Guys, on the other hand, don't have these 3 Keys. Instead, they try to covertly pick each lock using a pair of tweezers.
Instead of being a Jerk or a Nice Guy, learn to handle the keys well...
... learn to handle the keys like a Cool Guy.
How to Become a "Natural" with Women
Your Friend,
Jay Julio
