Got a Brand New
Girlfriend?
Read This!
If you've just got a brand new girlfriend, and if things haven't always gone the way you wanted with previous girlfriends, follow these simple suggestions to start things off on the right foot.
The reason for most long-term problems, including break-ups, are not things done in the present. The reason for the problems that arise later in a relationships are usually caused by something that happened at the very BEGINNING of the relationship.
So the key is to be aware of them, and then prevent them.
Remember in my Cool Guy with Women, I discussed in detail how the principles of MYSTERY and CHALLENGE are essential to increasing a woman's interest and creating attraction?
The biggest mistake guys tend to make after they've got a brand new girlfriend, even though they've applied these principles while actually dating, is to stop applying them just because they've got her as a girlfriend.
Big mistake!
If you think about, these two principles are exactly the reason a woman wants to get together with you. And if suddenly they disappear from her relationship with you just because now she's your girlfriend, you actually remove the reasons for her wanting to be with you in the first place.
Then she'll make one of two choices: keep you around for the benefits you give her or move on to other guys. And in some cases, both.
So if you got a brand new girlfriend, keep these considerations in the front of your mind...
Suggestion #1:
Always have a life independent of her. In other words, don't make a girlfriend the center of your life.
Having a girlfriend or commitment means other women are off limits to you (assuming you're true to your word) so the challenge with other women is removed from the picture. But by having a personal life, that becomes her challenge.
You're time isn't readily available to her at the drop of a hat because you have personal goals. She still has to arrange to spend time with you, just like while you were dating.
Also, she still has to earn your attention, so don't show up at her work or invite yourself into her space unexpectedly.
Suggestion #2:
Avoid sharing anything about yourself or your life without her first ASKING you directly -- unless, of course, it suits the subject matter of a conversation.
But just because you've got a brand new girlfriend does not mean that she has to know your entire history or all your tastes and interests. That removes all the mystery from the relationship.
Instead, let these things reveal themselves where they're drawn out naturally through circumstances of situations.
Many guys think they should become 'best friends' with their girlfriend. Who's to say otherwise, but I think what that implies should be avoided. You don't need to tell each other 'everything'.
Focus on the romance. That's the role women play in your life.
Suggestion #3:
Never give her access to your property or money, like your car or electronics, etc. Just because she's your girlfriend doesn't mean she owns your life and possessions.
Some guys look at having a girlfriend like being married. No! Keep finances separate.
What you may see as generosity, to her, may be something completely different... like free stuff. Of course, this is just a subtle way of trying to bribe her into staying with you.
Avoid it at all costs! This just gives her the opportunity to use you.
Of course, there's nothing wrong with being truly generous. But be sure you know the difference before you give.
Suggestion #4:
Avoid becoming her therapist. Just because you got a brand new girlfriend and you want to support her doesn't mean you have to listen to her personal problems or her 'bad day soliloquies'.
That's not helping.
If she doesn't want a solution or advice from you, she wants your pity. Most times this is the case. So don't give it to her!
Giving pity is actually the very best way to be unsupportive, for it suggests and reaffirms the negatives. It communicates to her that you agree with her. You end up actually giving cement to her poor state of mind.
Instead, cut it off immediately. Then create a positive state of mind and reinforce that.
Got
a Brand New Girlfriend?
Follow These 4 Suggestions
These suggestions are very basic. Applying them however, does take practice for you have to train yourself to be alert and responsive. You have to spot the signs, then instantly act accordingly.
Women tend to be chaotic. If you accept that chaos, you're finished. But if you bring order to that chaos, not only do women find that attractive, this is the best form of support for they feel completely accepted and comfortable being themselves.
I assure you, command respect and expect the very best from a girlfriend, and you'll eliminate the major future problems.
The biggest mistakes often aren't what you DO. No, most times, they're what you DON'T do -- what you prevent, which allows the benefits.
Take charge!
