Definition of Masculinity

What’s at the core of the definition of masculinity?

ADEQUACY!

And only by realizing your adequacy can you be true to yourself, which let’s you exude self-assurance on Life’s stage in whatever endeavors you pursue and integrity in all the interactions and relationships you find yourself in (including women).

Or as Shakespeare put it: “To thine own self be true. And it MUST follow, as the day is to night, thou canst not be false to any man.”

I think being true to ourselves and being adequate are one in the same. That is, it's next to impossible to be true to yourself (and others) if you feel inadequate.

And though the purpose of this site is geared at improving your success with women and dating, that's really just a disguise.

It's really about embracing your true masculinity.

Here’s why...

Only by understanding the definition of masculinity and embracing it in your own life do you realize that you become naturally attractive.

You attract women without trying and sometimes without necessarily wanting to.

The definition of masculinity is the knowingness that you can and will ‘come through’, that you ‘have what it takes’.

The older and wiser I get, the more I notice and realize that finding peace and happiness -- what I believe we’re all secretly searching for as along with these states of mind, women migrate to you as a side-effect -- has little to do with what you add to yourself or how you improve yourself.

No!

It has much MORE to do with what you subtract from yourself, by how much you stop trying to change and start allowing for it.

As FM Alexander said, "Trying is only emphasizing the thing we already know." So, in other words, by trying to change the things we don't like, all we succeed at doing is making them more prevalent.

Then we compensate.

By understanding the definition of masculinity, it becomes clear just what these compensations are.

Some compensate for their inadequacy by looking for validation from women, both through sex and feminine approval.

Others compensate for their inadequacy by accumulating as much wealth or money as they can.

And still others compensate for their inadequacy by packing into gyms to make their muscles as big as they can.

I've found myself in all of these predicaments at one time or another.

So what's the problem with them? The motivation underneath each, for the purpose is to compensate for an internal feeling of inadequacy.

A nice security blanket.

Now, if adequacy is at the root of the definition of masculinity, what's its all important source -- if not getting women, money, or muscles?

Though I dedicate the whole first book, Cool Guy with Confidence, of my dating program to this question, here's the very short and basic answer...

Letting go of external attachments...

The state of being indifferent to success or failure and acceptance or rejection from others.

I've got no problem with sex, feminine validation, money, or a healthy, great looking body. These are great things... great additions to life. But I do have a problem with being attached to them where walking away in a moment would be difficult.

Ever noticed how really confident men don't seem to care whether they get what they want or not, or whether they get women's approval or not? Funny how they seem to get it all anyway, isn't it?

The reason is: not being attached allows you do be adaptable. And adaptability is the key characteristic of adequacy.

The more attached you become to getting a specific outcome, the less adaptable you become.

When we're attached and we don't get it, our attention closes itself off to the now present opportunities while we're busy fuming. But when we're unattached, we recognize the reality and then notice the new opportunities and take them the moment they arise.

That's the definition of masculinity: being adequate by rolling with the punches and staying alert even when you're expecting and prepared for a left straight... when you got thrown a right cross.

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I look forward to meeting and talking with you in the forums.

See you there soon.

Your Friend,

Jay Julio