Cool Guy Chronicles

» Thursday, February 14, 2008

Dealing with Criticism Effectively

If you plan on living your own life, dealing with criticism goes along with thinking for yourself, for most people want security...

To cling to what they know.

Nothing wrong with security. Freedom, simply, is much more rewarding.

But security and freedom -- or seeking the unknown and welcoming change -- are much like oil and water.

They don't mix.

You'll find that people who live Life seeking security won't seem to understand you or your actions if you've chosen to live in the pursuit of freedom.

And their misunderstandings breed criticism.

So, understanding and handling criticism then becomes absolutely necessary to protect your mind from mediocrity -- for that's generally what CRITICAL criticism is designed to do...

Tame your free-spirit, break your will, and convince you to think and live just like everybody else. But...

What is Mediocrity? Do You Really Want It?

Suppose you don't want to live the kind of life everybody else is, then what? Maybe that kind of lifestyle doesn't exactly paint an ideal picture in your mind... or perhaps it's not even that; maybe you just know inside that it's not for you -- that you have a purpose which extends beyond the boundaries of mediocrity.

What if you don't want to work 9-5 at a set income to make your living for the rest of your working life?

What if you don't want to leave it to chance, waiting for a woman to 'fall into your lap' by fluke, only to go out with her because she was the only option available to you?

What if you don't want to stay skinny or fat without knowing what it feels like to be healthy and fit?

If you don't want any of these things, dealing with criticism will become essential!

Again, there's nothing wrong with any of these things. The only problem is when you accept these things without consciously CHOOSING to.

The problem with mediocrity isn't so much about settling for where you're at or what you have today as it is about making CHOICES.

Mediocrity tends to be a default. And defaults aren't choices.

Mediocrity and Dealing with Criticism

Why am I talking about mediocrity in an article that is aimed at dealing with criticism?

Because, like mentioned above, if you choose to live your own life, you're going to think, behave, and act noticeably different than most everybody else.

Since freedom, it seems, makes no sense to people set on mediocrity, it draws attention and attracts criticism.

And if you want to continue to lead your own life, handling criticism becomes a necessity.

Let's face the dark, fear-fueled side of Human Nature; people want to make your choices for you because it gives themselves more choices.

Generally, these are people who lack self-control and feel the need to control others in order to feel like they have some form of power or order in their lives.

Most times, they're not even aware of what they're really doing or communicating.

It's about them... so don't make it about you.

Criticism and Interpretation

So how do you interpret criticism to deal with it effectively?

First, see people's critical criticism towards you for what is -- attempts at controlling or changing you to fit their world of security.

Second, stop judging it by taking it personally. Remember, it has nothing to do with you, really. They're only projecting what they know onto you. And how they choose to view the world and live their own lives is their business -- not yours.

Third, since it IS your business how you let others treat you, make them aware of what they're communicating to you, and that you find such treatment unacceptable. I've already covered effective methods on how to communicate this in my program.

Fourth, if someone refuses to change the way they treat you after you've made them aware of what they're really doing and clear on what you expect, walk away. Remove them from your life or limit their contact with you as much as possible.

Dealing with criticism is really about having the inner confidence in your Identity and your Vision; approving of yourself and your own direction in Life, regardless of what others think.

In a sense, you have to become your own society or culture as popular culture and mass society seem to thrive on mediocrity.

After all, why do we bend to critical criticism? Because we want to fit into a community. But doesn't that take your power from you?

Instead, fit in with yourself.

When you refuse to be ostracized -- when it doesn't affect or alter your thinking, handling criticism becomes a non-issue.

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