What You Should Know
About Dating Abused Women
You're going to end up dating abused women if you plan to date a lot of women. And I think there are some strong considerations worth making so you know how to deal with the situations that come up.
First and foremost, there is one single concept for attracting a healthy relationship, which is two-fold. The idea itself is simple...
You have to have resolved all major personal issues you've had AND you have to find a woman who has also done the same in her own personal journey.
The first part is completely your responsibility. And the second part is just as much your responsibility!
Here’s Why...
You can either try to change an abused woman by trying to help her through her personal problems, only ending up as her therapist -- OR you can find a woman who has already taken responsibility for herself.
Since, really, people only change when THEY want to, I suggest finding a woman who is ALREADY the way you want rather than trying to change a woman to suit what you want.
People who try to change each other to suit each other is probably the biggest reason for unhealthy relationships.
You'll find that by dating abused women, many of them have NOT resolved their own issues with whatever may have happened to them in the past.
They play victim.
In fact, they're attached to playing victim because they tend to get attention. And that's the big red-flag.
If you listen to victims, you let yourself be victimized by it. They want to infect you with their misery. They want to make their problem your problem.
They want to put their responsibility on you. This is trouble.
These women still harbor a deep anger towards men based on the man who abused them. You'll likely find that they are consumed with guilt. And people who are consumed with guilt always blame others for their misery.
How Dating Abused Women
Will Lead to Problems
By dating abused women like this, you can bet that as soon as things don't go her way with you, she's going to blame you. Yes, these are the revenge-driven psychos you want to avoid at all costs.
It's much better to get out before you get in too deep. And you do that by knowing what signs to look for.
What's the major sign? If a woman openly brings the subject of her abuse up without you even asking, don't walk away -- RUN!
... unless you just want to have fun. But even that's playing with fire.
There's no need for judgment. Whatever happened to her, I'm sure it was horrible. But the truth is, it is her responsibility to make peace with it. And if she hasn't, why would you want to allow that into your life?
This is the Dating World, not a psychiatrist's office. Dating abused women who haven't dealt with their issues will eventually turn you into her psychiatrist.
Are you in the Dating World to help people? No. You're in the Dating World to find women who click with you. Don't mix these worlds up.
Now, on the other hand, if you're dating abused women who have resolved their issues, you likely won't even know it. They've dealt with it. It's in their past.
These are women who have taken responsibility for themselves. These are the women who won't blame you when something goes 'wrong' in their lives. These are the women who you can establish a healthy relationship with.
How to Become a "Natural" with Women
Your Friend,
Jay Julio
