Alpha Male Tips to Earn Respect
We know alpha males get the girls -- without effort. What follows are essential alpha male tips for transforming yourself into a Cool Guy who has the same effortless effect on women.
And it's all about respect!
You've seen Fight Club, right? Tyler Durden is an ideal alpha male archetype.
I think we can all identify that.
But why? Just what exactly is it about his CHARACTER that radiates such a strong, dominant masculine presence?
And more importantly, how can you not only understand the qualities underlining his character, but learn how to apply these alpha male tips in your own life, bringing about the same benefits not just with women but life itself?
More than anything, women love men who LOVE their own lives!
What Cool Guy's do specifically isn't that important. What is important is the thinking behind what they do.
For you can imitate someone by observing how they act and what they say, but if you don't understand the reasoning behind their actions, you won't get the same results.
Many times, a guy may even get the opposite effect because it will be perceived as 'trying to be someone he's not'. The inferiority complex is evident.
Instead, become the type of guy who IS like that.
That's why my focus is always on changing your thinking first. The actions and communication being secondary. And, in most cases, they happen naturally when you grasp the thinking part.
And that's exactly what these alpha male tips focus on... changing your thinking so you BECOME rather than resorting to 'acting' or 'pretending'.
It’s All About EARNING Respect!
There is a whole 'philosophy' on respect, which is too detailed to go into here. But the central idea is that respect can only be EARNED in the specific ways you treat other people. I'm not just talking about the women you're interested in, but everyone else you encounter in Life.
Respect is at the foundation of the following alpha male tips.
Women notice how you communicate with other people, and they use THAT as a barometer for measuring who you really are -- NOT just how you treat them.
Often times, how you treat them is irrelevant. And here's why...
They know that, especially if you're just getting to know each other and since you're interested in her, she knows there's a good chance you're going to treat her better to make an impression.
This is what most guys do. And this is what she's accustomed to.
It makes sense, right?
So how does she discover who you really are? She knows she can't use your behavior towards her -- most times, anyway. It's not that reliable.
Instead, she observes how you treat and communicate with everyone else, from strangers to your friends. And not only how you treat THEM, but how you ALLOW them to treat you.
Essentially, letting others make their own decisions free from your own opinions and impulses and also communicating to others that they will not make your decisions for you!
That's what the following alpha male tips are all about...
#1: Complete Absence of Ego
An ego is one of the biggest traits women despise in guys -- not to be confused with confidence that verges on cockiness, which women find irresistibly attractive.
Guys who have egos send women for the hills, quickly.
Egos are the expression of inferiority complexes. They're simply masks guys use to try to cover up their low self esteem.
People tend to perceive these masks to say, "I'm better than you!"
Signs of an ego are things like being argumentative and needing to always be right, believing one's opinions to be absolute truth and bragging about their 'achievements'. Later, this leads to defending with excuses and trying to explain away behavior instead of confronting the issue.
Why is this attitude so repulsive to women?
First, it always frames the woman on the receiving end as the 'enemy', and thus, shuts down open communication. Second, an ego-driven guy believes the world revolves around him. Women don't want to listen to and be dominated by a guy's phony ideals of how the world should work and how bad it is when it doesn't function according to his perceptions.
Really, it's the anger.
So the most important of these alpha male tips is to eliminate your ego. Our ego is the obstacle that encourage us to seek approval and prove ourselves by bragging, showing-off, and trying to demonstrate we're better than everyone else by competing.
It's impossible to both have an ego and give respect, thus earning it back, along side trust, in return.
Do you remember Tyler competing or making excuses for his behavior and then explaining the reasons or apologizing for it? No way! He even had no problem letting some fat dude beat the crap out of him in front of dozens of guys who admired and looked up to him.
How's that for NO ego?
This is the soul of these alpha male tips.
#2: Accepting Yet Expects Independence
The remaining alpha male tips are only possible when the ego has been eliminated, for the ego tends to frame Life and everyone who enters it into either right or wrong, good or bad.
But nobody's perfect. And egocentrics are the farthest from it!
Yet no one likes to be criticized for their weaknesses or fears, which are often apparent in the current 'external' circumstances in our lives. Most of us tend to feel at least a little insecure about them.
Women despise prejudiced guys, along with everyone else.
True alpha males -- the Cool Guys -- accept others completely, along with their fears for they understand we are not our fears.
We are our potential. That's the focus of these alpha male tips.
In fact, they not only accept others, but because they expect the best of themselves, they naturally influence their own independent attitude on others for they refuse to accept other people acting irresponsible or manipulative in their presence.
On the other hand, you'll notice Nice Guys actually use your fears to judge you, subtly prey on you, and bring you down. Nice Guys identify other people based purely on their fears. They treat other people as inferior or stupid through their criticism and fault-finding because they believe they are the epitome of intelligence and superiority.
After all, they believe they're always right. Though there's nothing wrong with wanting to be right, but it does bring many consequences.
It's not conductive to respect. We feel disrespected when people find fault with us. And we never respect or trust people who criticize us, either directly or behind our backs.
Now, even though Cool Guys are well aware of where someone else may be at or he can see how what someone is doing isn't serving them, he accepts them fully without judging or trying to change them, yet he's direct in communicating with the issues as they effect him.
Remember Tyler's conversation outside the bar?
"Ah, it's late. Hey, thanks for the beer."
"Yeah man," says Tyler.
"I should find a hotel. Argh."
"What."
"What?"
"A hotel?" repeats Tyler.
"Yeah."
"Just ask man."
"What're you talking about?"
"Three pitchers of beer and you still can't ask?"
"What."
"You called me because you needed a place to stay."
"Oh, hey... no, no, no."
"Yes, you did. So just ask. Cut the foreplay and just ask, man," says Tyler.
"Would that be a problem?"
"Is it be problem if you asked?"
"Can I stay at your place?"
"Yeah," Tyler says enthusiastically as he turns and moves on.
This is the mind of these alpha male tips.
#3: Enforces Personal Boundaries
I say it over and over again, but women love men with BACKBONE -- men who stand up for themselves and believe in who they are. Along with this comes the effect of not letting others attempt to make your decisions for you or define you.
The other side of these alpha male tips, which have covered earning respect, is to command respect from others.
The only way to do this effectively is to first eliminate the ego, for that takes the personal sting out of someone crossing a boundary. You don't take it personally and get emotionally involved. And by accepting others without judgment, you can communicate directly with the issue for you don't blame or accuse them for their behavior.
In fact, you realize however they treated you is their problem. By doing this, you begin approaching the situations with empathy rather than spite, as you become aware that their behavior has a negative affect on everyone else they contact in Life.
Also, most people aren't fully aware of just how their negative behavior or attitude affect others... the reaction they're actually getting doesn't register. For if they did, they would learn to stop doing it.
Enforcing your boundaries actually BUILDS trust, and further backs up respect. We always find it difficult to trust people who are docile. But we always respect people who stand up for themselves.
That sets the foundation for trust.
Notice how Tyler is an expert at enforcing his boundaries, and many times he does it without the other person even realizing they crossed a line, like projecting their opinions or standards onto him. He's that tactful and cool.
"Where's your car?"
"What car?" replies Tyler as he throws his beer bottle and presses on.
Other times, he's blunt when he calls people on what their REAL intention is towards him, even though they weren't aware of it. Yet he does it in a non-judgmental, observant manner.
"So what do you do?"
"What do you mean?" asks Tyler.
"What do you do for a living?"
"Why? So you can pretend like you're interested?" says Tyler.
"Uh-haa-a," as he scrunches his face. "Okay."
"You have a kind of sick desperation in your laugh."
He lets no one project negative impulses at him or make assumptions about how he should live his life, and instead shifts the responsibility onto them -- where it belongs.
This is the backbone of these alpha male tips.
#4: Playful and Enthusiastic
The above alpha male tips are what make-up a Cool Guy's character, but it is his playful sense of humor and enthusiasm for Life that make-up his personality.
His energy is what makes him 'cool'.
Women love the fun guys -- the playful guys who allow them to throw off the cares of their adult lives for a moment and get back in touch with the freedom and joys they experienced as little girls.
Nothing is more infectious than enthusiasm. The person with enthusiasm is generally welcomed in any group of people, for enthusiasm pushes others' prejudices beyond the periphery and brings people together in a spirit of harmony.
But just what gets in the way of being playful and enthusiastic? Is it the fear of looking like a fool? A fear of disapproval or not having the conviction to stand behind what you do? These would seem to be the main reasons.
The solution to these problems is to reach a level of self comfort where you're the 'same person' around other people as you are in private.
This means being completely open and honest... and vulnerable. But when you can effectively communicate your boundaries, that vulnerability loses it's hold over you.
Notice how Tyler is completely comfortable with himself. It's obvious he's comfortable with his body and voice, which are the two gateways to true confidence.
It is this quality that allows him to be mischievously 'boyish' and playful, a free spirit. This is the heart of these alpha male tips.
The Sum is an Attitude Towards Life
Cool Guys aren't 'myths' only seen in movies, like our Tyler Durden example. No. Every guy is capable of becoming a genuine Cool Guy.
It does involve understanding yourself and Human Nature. These alpha male tips aim at the basics of that. But there are many details, which are often better learnt along the way.
The only prerequisites to transforming yourself are these principles, the courage to apply them, and the willingness to fail initially while perhaps looking foolish as you learn to apply them effectively.
Of course, more information can speed up the process. That's why your reading the Men's Dating Magazine, right? But the information won't, in itself, bring about changes.
That's up to you.
You MUST take action through continuous action. You must fail in order to fully realize the working laws these alpha male tips were formed on.
Only after periods of failure (and successes) following these alpha male tips will the Cool Guy within begin to emerge on a consistent basis, and along with him, attractive women and great relationships.
