The 48 Laws of Control

I read a well-written book a few years ago by Robert Greene called The 48 Laws of Power.

If you want to learn the various methods people use or attempt to use to manipulate you into conforming to their agendas, it's worth the read.

But I think a better -- or perhaps a more accurate title is The 48 Laws of Control.

Power and control may appear to be the same on the surface. The effects may seem similar, but the causes AND long-term effects are much different.

Understanding the difference determines whether you live a life of freedom or not. This applies to every avenue of life, including women and dating.

Cool Guys are powerful because they focus on mastering themselves and then give women the CHOICE to be with them. Then they let women DECIDE without pressure.

"If you're in, let's go. And if you're not, see you around -- I got things to do."

But Nice Guys and Smooth Guys are both controlling because they focus on pleasing women (to secretly stroke their own egos). They use different manipulations to try to convince women into liking or sleeping with them. When they sense they're losing the girl, they pull out their best moves only to encounter more resistance. The pressure rises and they begin to lose their cool.

"Look at what I can give you. And if it's not good enough for you, I'll change what I offer -- so you better like me."

Power is long-standing, but force eventually produces a resentful kick-back.

That's why the distinction must be made for the danger is in believing we're becoming more powerful when we are, in fact, becoming more controlling, setting ourselves up for a total collapse.

Mistaking control for power is the reason we lose power, even though it may appear like we're becoming more powerful. By chasing control, we actually sacrifice our control for we're controlled by the idea that we have to 'keep' control.

Now, we can never have more power than we have right now or at any other moment in life. All we can do is stop giving our power away.

Ultimately, there's no such think as more power, only less.

Some people mistake others giving them their power as having more power. It is nothing of the sort -- it's simply having more control.

When our power is dependant on others conforming to our agendas (without them being aware of it or having the awareness of how their choice impacts them), not only is integrity lost, the kick-back will arise when their awareness opens.

So the degree to which we control others is the same degree to which we give them control over ourselves, without us realizing it.

Control is trying to force the world to conform to what you want. Power is choosing to think for yourself and then giving others the option of whether they will respect the way you think or not, without violating their own freedom of thought.

That's the difference between getting what you want without having to disrespect anyone else to get it. Of course, you will rock the boat. But that's not your issue.

Power is independent. Force is dependant on outside influences.

For most, what we know is what we were taught to know. But do we ever question who teaches what, and what their true intentions were in teaching it or giving us that knowledge -- or way of behaving?

Was it to their benefit... or ours?

When we're under control it's because someone else is getting a benefit without us understanding the conditions when we give consent. What's further, they don't want us to know they're benefiting from it -- like women's control over Nice Guys.

For when there's ignorance, there can be no true consent.

And they have you under control because you're doing something they want you to do -- but they don't want you to know it or the reason for fear that if you knew the truth, you'd wake-up and walk away while they experienced that negative kick-back.

Control takes others choices away. Power leaves them with and often opens their awareness to choices they weren't aware they owned.

That's why it's so important to approach dating from a place of power, not control. Tricks and tactics, though they may work in the short-term will produce a negative kick-back in the long-term.

Invite women into your life. Don't try to persuade them into it.

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How to Become a "Natural" with Women

I look forward to meeting and talking with you in the forums.

See you there soon.

Your Friend,

Jay Julio